(160): Is it lust or love? | Tedx Talks

(160): Is it lust or love? | Tedx Talks

I've been recently hooked up on watching Tedx Talks about dating or relationships or other stuff but this one's caught my attention (aside from John Gray's "Mars brain, Venus brain").

I'll summarize this talk by Terri Orburch and write my thoughts about it.
According to her there are 4 specific signs that differentiate lust from love:

1. Connection. When you're in love, you want your partner to connect with all the important people in your life. 

2. When you use "we" language rather than "I" language. If you were in love, you would tell me, "We went out to dinner" or "We went to the movies" rather than "I took Sandy to the movies" and "I went out to dinner".

3. Self-disclosure. Love motivates us to reveal extensive information about ourselves to this other person. When we're in love, we want to tell this other person about our dreams, about our aspirations, our goals, the past, the future. 

4. Influencing one another. When two people are in love, what one person does or wants to do, influences the other person in meaningful and strong ways. You would want to go to your partner before you make a decision. 


So if you're in a situation wherein you're confused as to what relationship you have with the other person, take a look at these signs and see for yourself.

My thoughts:

I'm on Tinder (idk why people are ashamed to admit that they use Tinder. I'm single so y not?!) but whenever I have a match I don't always message them first. Again, here goes the "if he likes me he'll send me a message" saying from yours truly which is so wrong, but still applicable for some situations. Anyway, that's beside the point. Out of all the 22 matches, I had a chat with 8 guys and 2 of them just want to have hookups. I mean, girls if you like that idea then go for it. It's just that, it's not for me. A relationship is not a relationship without sex, but I want to get to know the other person first. I want to build a connection before we jump right to bed. Lust can turn into love = that is correct. One of my friends had a hookup with someone she met on Tinder and now they're together for 4 months. I mean, hookups can turn into relationships. But then again, it's not my thing. I want to feel in love with the other person before we sleep together. Isn't it nice to have sex with the guy you love? Like, when he's on top and you look him in the eyes, you feel the deeeeeep connection. You feel the burning love inside you. Inside the both of you. Isn't it wonderful? I'm pretty sure you get the picture because it's TMI. 

To make it short, affection - love - make love. 
Hope it makes sense. Cus I'm really bad at explaining and my writing skill is getting rusty.



Til my next blog post,
Kattie ♡